Clueless Foie Gras Gorgers

That's "Gorgers", not "gorgeous". There's a difference - and these people are anything but gorgeous.

I speak of this evening's Sky News bulletin where it is noted that a ban has been imposed on cultivating or serving foie gras on the menu in restaurants in California. And not a moment too soon! Can it be that the lawmakers have had a rare moment of sanity?

The news insert should be commended in showing in graphic detail and describing how foie gras comes into existence. I saw geese being grabbed roughly around the neck and having a feed bulb shoved deep down their throats. The commentary noted that they are force fed until the liver is enlarged and diseased and then they are killed and the liver is served as a delicacy.

Three comments come to mind - one from the chef of a restaurant, who noted that he's not used to being told what he can or cannot eat or serve up. He finds this "strange". The other two comments come from indignant diners who  obviously have had their feathers ruffled, and who also think they own the earth and everything in and on it. That's the problem with having a lot of money - you start to get delusions of grandeur, and disrespect every other living thing while your head is inserted firmly where the sun doesn't (and will NEVER) shine.
 
Anyway - one distinguished gentleman gorger pontificated on between splutters of indignant rage that foie gras is "one of the great culinary treats that civilisation has created.... and I don't think the way they are being fed is inhumane". I rest my case. What did I say in a previous blog, "commoditising our wildlife heritage"? "Take a good hard look at the ..genocide - that mankind is wreaking on animals as we speak, and tell me we're civilised."

Remind me WHY exactly we decided it might be a delicacy to shove a pipe down a goose's throat and feed it until the liver was diseased, and then eat it? Who was the debauched sicko who dreamed this little one up? Seems to go back as far as 2500 BC and the ancient Romans - must have had a brain fart somewhere in our history. Thank goodness for the very small minority of wonderful people - the majority are a most debauched and morally corrupt species, aren't they?

The other comment was from a particularly ignorant and self-important old (she looked old - must be the meat and sundry crap she shovels down her throat) female gorgorette. There's a saying "you are what you eat". She looked a bit like an indignant goose - with apologies to the geese. Her face wobbled and her creases vibrated, her wattles flapped as she prated on - and this is what she came up with "it's a bunch of uninformed people who have no idea what happens on a foie gras farm". Yes, yes - quite.

She obviously wasn't watching the picture inserts - how could she? She was stuffing her flabby face while the news item was still in the studios. But it was priceless - 20 seconds after everyone watching Sky News has been given a graphic lesson in how to f^%k up geese completely en-route to being served up on a plate, she tells the world we don't know about "foie gras farming". I love it.

Tell you what Madam Crease-Face and Sir Pompous Git. Let's forget about your social climbing status and play "Do unto Others". This is the way the game is played : I grab you each by your scrawny wattled flabby throat and stuff a feeding tube down it. I then squeeze the feeder bulb and inject copious quantities of food down your throat until you vomit. Then I do it again - and again - and again (are we starting to get the picture?) until you have a grossly enlarged and diseased liver.

Then (and this is a bit of a diversion from the norm because we'd die for your diner's comments, dahling), I cut your liver out while you are alive (we'll put you on a machine to keep you with us - temporarily), and we serve your liver up to you and your fat jolly gorger fellows on a plate with a little garnish and some novo-cuisine sauce splatters - with a nice chianti (that's for the Hannibal Lectors amongst us).

When you have finished, you can fill in a diner satisfaction card, and then we pull the plug out of the machine.

This seems fair, surely? Are you not willing to understand the little inconveniences your dinner undergoes before it ends up on your plate? Ignorant cretins.

But they won't give up without a fight - they're considering underground private "supper clubs", bring your own and have it served up to you for a "forkage" fee, or bring it in from out-of-state. I would love the US activists to investigate the legalities of these, and see if there are ways to spoil their supper with a $1000 fine (not that these  self-centred idiots would notice the effect of a paltry fine like this, on their bank balances).

Does wealth always go hand in hand with stupidity?